I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
