Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
