Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
