you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
