Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize