yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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