im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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