I'm gonna have a badass scar
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
