Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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