do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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