I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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