found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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