I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
