She said her name was "party"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i think my cat just said my name.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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