it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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