What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
