We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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