i think my mom watched the whole time
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
