my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
