I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
