it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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