Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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