Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
