i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
