Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize