was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
