I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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