yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
