she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
