exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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