Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
