Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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