I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I cut my penus on the lid.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize