she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
