so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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