careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
