Im at strip club and am horny
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
