i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
