I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
