what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
