So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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