You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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