yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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