I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
