i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
