: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
