My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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