I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
