Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
