girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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