Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
