Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
