Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
