Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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