What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
