youre lurking in front of me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
