we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
