After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
