don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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