I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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