Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
