i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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