My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
