I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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