What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize